Navratri-Dussehra 2023

 Themes 

- Feeding her hungry baby

- Freedom from errors

- The huggy-puggy

- Nayra at school

- The last night of dance & Glamour

- From Nayra to Aaji

- Divinity & Tradition

- The comparison & No Tuxedo Vs. Less than perfect Tuxedo

- Small Pleasures (Raam Laddu)

- Protecting her baby from cold

....

Bullying & own it

Introducing her baby to muska bun

Curd & Cream Laad

-----

Mum understanding ocd and wanting to be a part of my stammering journey

Giving advice & bonding & feeling relevant

Fear of drug & psychiatrist 

-----

Finding the blanket and crafting a narrative around it

MATERNAL LOVE

Maternal Instinct is transcendental. There is something really fundamental about a mom wanting to feed her baby - as fundamental as life itself. (I had ganga-jamna dal with bharta and seviyan)

FEAR 

Awareness & Choice Vs. Immersive & Spontaneous 

Error. 5 letters but a lot of weight. What is the error element? It is the urge to cognitively undo a stressed emotion. (Nayra is dependent on others to undo her stressed emotions, that is why she is so dependent on her parents.)

She is not aware of her unclear speech or her apparently random actions. She freely expresses herself. (She does not know so many things but she still keeps herself engaged through her imagination)

Madness & Liberation 

If an adult does the same actions as Nayra, he will be considered mad. When the logical structure breaks, there is no understanding, no cognition. There is only a release of raw life energy. It is this life energy that is so charming. 

Getting What You Want

Not getting what I want triggers stressed emotions and the process of relief restoration starts. 

Putting in a lot of unnecessary effort to get what I want also triggers stress and thus the process of justification (to show to be free from guilt OR to defend as warranted or well-grounded) for achieving relief restoration starts

Actually getting what you want is just not in your control.  What is in your control is...make effort for things you value. 

Fear & Divinity

Leaving the unresolved emotion (secondary stressor) to God (the supreme director) can be helpful

Remember & Retrigger

No matter how clear a mental picture is, it gets hazy with time, even over a few hours or minutes - making you feel you are back to square one. It triggers anxiety and thus restarts the never-ending process of clarity-restoration. (never-ending process of cloud (anxiety) & rain (relief) )

It may also trigger guilt and may restart the process of justification for achieving total relief restoration.

Entropy (randomness) always increases. 

BONDING - THE JUNGLEE HUGGY-PUGGY

One of the things that is characteristic of our relationship is the unbridled huggy-puggy. It is not sexual, even though it is physical. It is the oxytocin magic, that is different from testosterone and very similar to petting a cute animal, a golden retriever or a cow. 

It is an "overwhelm of a feeling" - the cuteness feeling

FEAR & PLAY (NAYRA AT SCHOOL)

The fear of being 'alone' - neither papa nor muma

The happiness of  'playing' - objects, shapes, sizes & colour can be so fascinating and new

A. I am imagining new objects, new shapes, sizes (or size contrasts), colour & touch/sound that I have never seen/heard/felt before 

B. I am imagining having control over them, being able to manipulate them

If these two conditions are met, then I can play like Nayra. 

The fear of being alone is actually the fear of being lost. 

To simulate that fear, I have to imagine that everyone that I knew is no longer there and is wiped off the face of the Earth. OR I have irrevocably been transported to another galaxy. It is scary

LAST NIGHT OF DANCE & GLAMOUR

Why alcohol always goes with dance?

Why looking good feels so good?

Dance is an expression of freedom and physical relief (as opposed to physical tension) and physical health. It goes with music. It is a physical manifestation of the sense that the music creates. I would like to think, dancing with all your heart, when your movements become automatic and smooth, is one of the doorways to the hidden special world. 

Music + Dance + Alcohol = Apparently the best

Looking good feels so good because it meets the basic need of 'social acceptance'?

There is another element - when you look yourself in the mirror and get attracted to yourself. If I had met me, I would be attracted. 

To look desirable feels good. 

To be desired by the person you desire is another doorway to the hidden special world

SMALL PLEASURES

The smell of the fresh rain (petrichor), gentle cool breeze on your face, the winter sunshine, to learn a new thing, muska bun, the cool soft "liquidy" curd and half-dream half-awake caress.

 Walking into home haven sanctuary 

Sing along in car

Living Independently - The curtain nightmare/ordeal

 I am writing after a long time. I hope this is the end of my writer's block and I will nourish and nurture my in-born writing talent. I hope OCD cycles will not take the pleasure out of writing. 

I want to document the curtain-setting episode. 

It started with an idea of just window curtains, window lace curtains. I took the measurement and sent it to my parents. They got the strings and the 'challa', not to mention the lace curtains. Only later I realized they had packed the strings along with the curtains. 

The curtains-strings stuff was got around June 28, when Papa had come over to deliver my IGNCA application form. On July 8 I finally became serious to put on the curtains. 

July 8

I thought the challa (ring) was a keel. I was somewhat dumbfounded when I saw the strings and the screw lookalikes, along with the curtains for the first time. The curtains did not have loops. The curtain and the string length were too long. It took me a moment to register what is to be done. And one thing was missing - screws. 

SCREWS

I had big screws that felt inapt for the curtains but Arjun said it is workable. The curtain length and the absence of loops did not matter. The string had to be cut short. 

But, that could wait. I wanted to use Arjun to fix the screws. Because the screws were big, fixing them into the frame BEFORE getting the string cut was a wrong decision. First, the right screws had to be bought. 

Or, better - Go out and buy the screws and get the string cut then do the whole together at once rather than doing it piecemeal. Mark a point on the string where you want it cut. 

But, due to poor time management, the screws were bought and fixed (thanks to the generous nature of Arjun) BEFORE getting the string cut. 

STRING

I wanted to use the Urban Company guys to cut the string.

Getting the string cut without a measuring tape was a wrong decision. The string was first still longer and then appeared to have been cut (in the second attempt) a bit too short. But, that could wait. A more visible problem was - the other string remained to be cut. And one challa remained to be installed into the first string that was just cut a bit too short. I guess I was banking on the challa to compensate for length. 

So, at the end of 08th July, two tasks were pending

- getting the other string cut to the right length

- getting the challa installed into the first string

----------------------------------------------

July 9

GOING OUT AND GETTING THE WORK DONE

I was all set to go to the shop. 

- The other string was cut to the requested length

- I had only one spare challa (which was accidentally installed into the other string)

End Result - I was with two strings, each having one challa. 

I had to get two more Challas (that I assumed I left at home)

SEARCH FOR ONE CHALLA

One challa I got from home and the other from the market after a wild-goose chase. 

End Result - I was with two strings, each having two challas, as desired

CHANGING THE POSITION OF THE SCREW (Back to Screws!!)

Because the string was cut too short the screw placement had to be changed.  

And now begins the ordeal - of fixing one new screw (- not happy with the sagging curtains), altering the placement of the original screw (- not a very neat arrangement) and fixing another new screw (At last, peace!!!!)

All throughout being concerned about damaging the wooden frame during screw hammering. 

TAKEAWAYS

- Use the right labour. Don't be pennywise and pound-foolish 

- Don't do carpentry/metal work (wire cutting and challa installing) piecemeal. 

This is only the beginning. Living Independently is only going to get more interesting. 

 

Bajrangi Bhaijaan- A movie review not really about the movie

“par iske  ammi abbu ko dhoondoge kaise?”

-Bajrang Bali hai na.. maded karenge

“Pakistan mein?!” (laughs)

(But how will you find her parents?

-Bajrang Bali is there... He will guide me

"even in Pakistan?!" (laughs)

Does Bajrang Bali bestow His blessings only in Hindustan ? Does a Hindu God have an existence outside India? What does it mean when one says ,’ a Hindu God’ or ‘a Muslim God’ or a ‘Christian God’! God, by very definition means a Supreme Being that is not localized but is present everywhere (omnipresence). Therefore, the term ‘ a Hindu God’ is itself contradictory as it suggests a Supreme Being is limited to a geographical location. If so, then God is no longer “supreme”

 

This is not a lecture of Philosophy 101. This is the essence of a mainstream commercial and second highest grossing India film (at the time) “Bajrangi Bhaijaan”. This is not a character sketch of the protagonist Salman Khan that praises him to the stars. This is essentially about the underlying themes the movie touches upon and what was in the main theme that connected with the audience so well.

The megacities of Delhi and Lahore are like two estranged lovers of historical past whose love affair ended in tragedy .But still, there is a little bit of Lahore in Delhi and a little bit of Delhi in Lahore! This is exemplified by Delhi-Lahore Samjhauta Express blazing across in the opening scenes of the movie. I am reminded of my (hindu) grandfather who used to visit his village on the other side of the border before 1947. En route, he used to halt in the city of Lahore which he describes as the biggest city he had seen till then, “even bigger than Delhi”. Even after 71 years, he speaks fondly of Anarkali Market, the Noor Jahan Tomb and the Lawrence Gardens in the city of Lahore. Lahore of yesteryears still exists in his mind afresh.

Maybe you are reading this probably on your phone , caught in the traffic or waiting in a long queue in Mc Donald's . You logged into facebook to release stress as Board exams are nearing or because you wanted to chance running online into your crush. Probably you are in India but you could also be in Pakistan ! Why do I say this? Because there are traffic jams in Pakistan too.There are McDonald’s in Pakistan too. There are Board exams in Pakistan too. People fall in love in Pakistan too. All these things are not special to India or any one country for that matter! But the word “Pakistan” seems to raise images of terrorism, brutality, islam and everything negative. It is funny that there are people and “scholars” who talk and write books about Pakistan , without ever having visited the country once. They talk about the Pakistani Govt and ISI, as if that’s what is “true Pakistan”. If that be so, then our Indian politics, corruption and killing in the name of cow protection represents “true India” !

But what about our Indian soldiers and innocent people who were shot and killed by pakistanis? What about the many Indian prisoners of war who were tortured to horrifying deaths in Pakistan?Do we realize it that for every terrorist in Pakistan, there are ten Nusrat Fateh Ali Khans, the world-renowned Sufi singer. For every Pakistani who shoots innocent Indians, there are ten Malala Yousafzais who got shot in the head standing for peace and Right to Education. For every Pakistani who wishes bad for India, there are hundreds of ordinary Pakistanis doing their 9 to 5 jobs, looking forward to weekends, possibly some of them reading this on facebook- who want nothing more than a good night sleep and be caressed by a loved one at the end of a long day.

"We realize the importance of our voices only when we are silenced"- Malala Yousafzai

“Dhoondte Tera Khuda, Mujhko Rab Mila”

(While finding your God, I found mine)

This is a line from the song “Tu jo Mila” in the movie.

Lets say you try explaining a 6 year old girl something-like, it is important to sleep early for a healthy life. How do you do it? If you think by telling her in “your” language that “Early to Bed. Early to Rise. Makes a person healthy wealthy and wise” and she will understand then you are terribly wrong! Those who have experience in raising small children know what small children need to be told. You have to talk to them in “their” language. “ If you sleep early, then the dream fairy will come in six white horses and take you to the Land of Dreams”

Pawan a.k.a Salman Khan in the movie initially prays to Bajrang Bali for showing him the way and guiding him to take the lost six year old girl to her family. He later realizes he should also appeal to her God for guiding him. No, no body told him to do so. He himself realizes this.

I remember the time when once one of my friends asked me to pray for her, pray that she gets the love of her life. I was proud enough of my atheism to not give my friend’s plea much consideration! I dismissed it as a childish longing. I was wrong. If only I had prayed to “her” God and had realized that that did not mean I had to give up on my Faith(yes, lack of religious Faith is also a Faith).

As a child, I distinctly remember watching Hatim on TV with my family. This man with extraordinary spirit embarks on a journey to destroy the Evil through solving seven riddles one by one. His approach for solving the riddles was not linear. He was apparently not goal-oriented. In fact, he kept his life at stake many-a-times for helping passers-by out of distress, which on the face of it, seemed totally unrelated to the riddle he was given to solve. He got lost in his own quest of relieving pain and misery in the lands he journeyed to, only to get his riddle suddenly solved in the end!

When I grew up, i met a friend who gave shelter to a homeless lost pup. At the time, she was herself going through a lot in life and she was in no state to take care of the pup for more than a few days. But as fate would have it, she grew attached to the pup and adopted her! Giving semblance to her pup’s life, she found semblance in her own. “We both saved each other”.

“Dhoondte Teri Gali, Mujhko Ghar Mila”

(While finding your home, I found mine)- from the same song.

Eventhough two people speak a given language, does not mean they speak in “each other’s language”. They may be totally out of step with one another even though they speak words belonging to the same language. Much like an ignorant adult telling a six-year old girl to go to sleep.

There is another language that runs hidden but parallel to the language of the Words. In the movie, the protagonist encounters one Islamic religious scholar who helps him avoid capture by police and lets the lost girl reach her destination. The Hindu is indebted with gratitude and without realizing it does an “adab” to bid his saviour goodbye. 

Language of the Heart.

I believe if people spoke more in each other’s language they would fight less.

I wonder why the movie did so well at the Box Office so much so that it became the second highest grossing film ever at that time! What was in it that connected with the audience so well.

Maternal love, the childlike innocence, longing for home, wanderlust mixed with suspense(travelling across different lands with perpetual risk of being discovered) are just few of the sub-themes the movie touches upon . But, probably the main stem that connected with the audience was, not surprisingly, the character of the protagonist himself. In the movie, he is portrayed as man with many flaws. He is dumb, fails his college “ten times” , is jobless so much so that he has to prove himself to win the hand of his lover in marriage. It just reflects the common man’s inadequacies- not necessarily the exact same ones. Everyone at some point has felt themselves to be inadequate and not living up not only to other’s expectations but more importantly to their own. But, all this is forgivable , all this can be overlooked because of one underlying quality that humans value the most : being good.

The protagonist is a good person. In fact, he has a heart of gold. And his quest for taking the girl back to her family in Pakistan opens the eyes and touches the lives of many people who cross his way. He is a living example of the wonderfully true and enlightening belief that our similarities are far more strong than our differences. There is no religion bigger than humanity. It is not a new concept. It is something that people already knew but this is brought to their awareness through a ‘loser’ common man who gets raised to heroic proportions.

A lot has been talked and heard on the news about sexual harassment cases and crimes against women, so much so that one almost turns a deaf ear and like "aajkal ka zamana aisa hi hai(These are immoral times)" and moves on . A few extremists feel that it's the women who have become restless and turning "immoral " in today's kalyug. So, they are to be blamed. Anyway, victim-blaming has never been a new phenomenon. Your money gets stolen -you are to be blamed. People beg borrow and steal. Likewise,"boys will be boys".
Some feel that Women's rights and Women's Day is just another day,if not overrated like Environment,heath,diabetes,AIDS,Earth,Science and what not .The meaning of Women's Day gets lost and remains limited to intellectual discussions and forums ,to be forgotton until the next sexual harassment case becomes "breaking news".
All the above mentioned days are significant and totally legitimate in their own right.However, when a day that concerns something as basic and fundamental as someone's "Gender" or "Sexuality" ,goes unnoticed and largely misunderstood ,I believe then it is high time to rethink and reevaluate how gender-sexuality issues are really 'perceived' and what is IT actually?- Is it just a biological construct or a complex socio-cultural /identity construct ?
Read on....
Many of us know what patriarchy is. Simply put, it is an underlying and subconscious belief that women are in some way "inferior" to men,in general -either intellectually, sexually or in terms of personality/capability. At best, they are best suited for fashion and make-up stuff , perhaps a bit of more academic sincerity here and better rote memorizing  capability there or any other "softer" skills . They have softer personalities, which is to say, they are"emotional" and seen somewhat weaker. So, they should be in a constant need to be "saved" or supported in some form.
At worst, in urban pop culture,they are bitches after "the guy's money"  or at least their needs are very expensive and they use their 'womanly charms' to move up the career ladder. In rural pop culture, they are bad omen if they happen to menstruate or don't give birth to a male child or don't give birth at all, irrespective of the  fact that the infertilty problem could be in the guy.
Now, this mentality is not limited to women only. In the guy world, there is also a hierarchy of strong and weak personalities. Somehow, anything or anybody sexually expressive is seen as "strong" .Anything deviant is seen as generally inferior-ranging  from being tagged a "sadhu-sant(monk)" in a joking way to being tagged as "shy" to being tagged highly gross if there is alternate sexuality. It's as if these people's IDENTITIES get defined by a lack of having a certain standardized trait,dismissing the complex web of traits,desires,goals,dislikes that truly make an individual. It is as if the person becomes a LESSER human being.In other words, anything on the left and right of "strong" becomes less and less "legitimate" as one moves farther from the centre in the "spectrum". The trick here is to realize that no one trait is better or more "right" than the other,just like colours of the rainbow.
A guy who does not watch porn or hesitates to use the F word ,is "bhola(innocent)" or "seedha" . A guy who talks in an expressive manner with gestures is possibly gay in adult urban 'folklore' or "chakka" , a go-to curse word in the How-to-humiliate rulebook of a middle school preteen.
Our pop culture media just reinforces the assumption of a "hero" - strong, sturdy,masculine saving the heroine in distress or "winning" her heart or anything that puts the "hero" in an active role and the female in a receiving role. And this brings us to the almost unspeakable assumption of all time : Women are ONLY capable of receiving or attracting (through make up, or their way of dressing)sexual attention .I am NOT saying all guys feel this way. But I have always seen it to be more "cool"(teen world) or "bold "(adult world) or "entertaining" (Honey Singh and DJ wale babu world)to talk about women in a sexually objectifying way which is to say what I just stated-women have no more to their IDENTITY  than receiving or attracting sexual attention. And this brings us back to the fundamental phenomenon of 'victim blaming'. So, any sex-related crime is supposedly a woman's fault.
If we dig a little deeper, it is NOT really a sex-related crime as much as it IS a crime of dominance,of power :who's is the stronger "MAN" here and who's the weaker woman there. Just because a guy finds a girl attractive ,does NOT mean he would harass her. If a guy would never 'hit on' another guy,whether or not he is attracted to him , it should give him no reason to hit on a girl , knowingly outraging her modesty . Just because she is a girl does not mean she can't "react" . Does not mean she is weak,even though she is "forced" to keep quiet due to complex socio-cultural context. She is as much as a human as you are. Like Kalki Koechlin says, " she's is just aNoTher 'you' when you look at her ". I am not saying "women are better individuals than men;men being horny all the time,I am not generalizing. Women have their own share of vices. The crux here is to realize that that is individual-specific and does not have anything to do with their gender.
Just because you meet a poor Muslim does not mean he is poor because he is muslim. Just because you met a fashion designer who is gay does not mean he is a fashion designer because he is gay. Even among women, some girls would feel women have a nasty habbit of bitching about others. Their bitching does not have anything to do with their gender as much as it has to do with their circumstances and the socio-cultural context in which they have been brought up. Any "odd" trait is attributed to a person's religion,sexuality or gender. Therefore that particular religion,sexuality or gender should be somewhat inferior.

So, what's the point ?

*The first thing is to realize what in my opinion, one must NOT do. Putting posters about "end sexual harassment" serves nothing more than amusement for testosterone-driven young guys who would probably take cheap thrills off such posters.
*Just simply reporting the crime in the media without setting up proper precedents serves NO PURPOSE,rather it may back-fire the very purpose. Also, report if the perpetrator is brought to justice and what type of punishment was meted to them ,whether jail time or chemical castration should come as "breaking news" and NOT the fact that a girl gets raped.
*Don't go with "respect women" or any other similar thing that suggets women are in some way fundamentally different from men,in need of respect,so to speak.This may at first sound disturbing and many of us wouldn't even agree,but the bottom line is ,respect everyone ,if at all. Just because you have a XX or a XY chromosome does not mean you get a preference/prejudice.
*Objectifying women : At one point or the other, we all, men and women objectify the opposite gender for own entertainment ,either in the mind or talking to friends. The point is "how much is too much and where to draw the line" . Education through creative media may play a role,the crux being sex appeal is just a part of a complex web of traits,desires,goals,dislikes that truly make up a human being.

What's to be done?

Alternative perspectives of masculinity and femininity should have more public visibility. A guy is not less of a guy if a lady tries her best to win his heart,rather than being the other way round. He is completely comfortable in letting his lady pay for the dinner or any such scenario where the lady is in the "active" role. He is perfectly safe. He is emotional.It is perfectly legit.
On the other hand , femininity does not mean a woman can't be an engineer or a boxer. Mary Kom.Kiran Bedi. Rest is self-explanatory. I truly believe women need more women role-models. This brings back to the question,what exactly is gender -  just a biological construct or a socio-cultural/identity construct or that it ReallY doEsnT maTTer ?!

Medium ?
Through the media of caricatures, anecdotes, songs, photography,short films and what not! Spread these ideas and your own ideas creatively and with an emotional "connect". Talk about them,think it over lightly over a cup of coffee.

 On an ending note, I hope these ideas are not lost in literature. Are not lost in words. I don't even and want to expect it will create a "change".Nothing of that sort. It is not even in our hands, it should happen on its own. But ,we need to know what's in OUR hands. Just talk. Spread the word if you can.If these issues bother you and you see the positive side, don't keep your ideas to yourself. If these issues don't bother you, let it go. Maybe give it another chance or find something that you truly believe in.

Do what you do best. I am not telling you to "work" or support the fancy sounding "gender equality" cause. Do what you do best. Whether it is simply passing on your ideas to a friend whom you think can make them more publicly accessible. It is NOT a thing to be limited to intellectual discussions and debates.As far as I am concerned,I write-and that's what I do. that's what I really do.
......................
We either choose to define people on the basis of their gender(or any other category for that matter) OR we don't. Ultimately,it all boils down to this. It is as simple as this. Period.

sunshine

It's been a year . 

on this same date, I opened myself to a whole new world .......of life and blogging.

I had to write something about this journey of one year,online and offline,to celebrate its anniversary .I couldnt come up with a better way than dedicating the past year to the people I met,online and offline,to the books I read ,(Tao of Physics,Delirious Delhi,Memoirs of a Geisha ),to the new movies/series that I watched and the old ones that I rewatched,to the experiences I had,to being open to change,to the new feelings I felt and the old feelings that I refelt,to love,to discovering stuff,to doing new things,to learning new stuff.

"I fell into a sound sleep and dreamed that I was at a banquet back in Gion ,talking with an elderly man who was explaining to me that his wife,whom he cared dearly for,wasnt really dead,after all because the pleasure of the time they spend together lived on inside him. While he spoke I drank from a bowl of the most extraordinary bowl  of soup I'd ever tasted;every briny sip was a kind of ecstasy.I felt as though all the people I had come to known who had died or left me had not gone.They continued to live on inside me,just as the man's wife lived on inside him.I felt as though I was drinking them all in ...."    - from Memoirs of Geisha

Before my online world,blogging ,my real world was in a disarray.And now I cannot wait to get back to having lunch in a warm cosy bed,taking in the aroma of the food and the sound of the music or talking with my family or calling my real life college buddy.

"Before I had studied Zen for thirty years, I saw mountains as mountains, and waters as waters. When I arrived at a more intimate knowledge, I came to the point where I saw that mountains are not mountains, and waters are not waters. But now that I have got its very substance I am at rest. For it's just that I see mountains once again as mountains, and waters once again as waters."  -from The Tao of Physics

Virtual friends,life is just a reflection of real life,never confuse the two.

so, go make that call to your childhood friend that you've been thinking of or have a leisurely stroll with the nature or plan a family sunday brunch on your house garden.Do whatever you need to do ,but dont spend more time than necessary in things that are only virtual.

Also,be Open to Change :

try out different genres of movies,books; Be open to different viewpoints.Talk to people.Make that small talk or a "hello" to a stranger you come across while waiting in the queue or while gyming.  Make mistakes.Take risks.Be willing to let go of your past and embrace the present.

Life is in constant breathing motion,it is changing all the time.Our world is no more permanent than a wave rising on the ocean.Nothing lasts permanently.

.........somewhere ,sometime you will find sunshine.

Trapped

Why do we keep making the same mistakes again?We’d  know of at least one person who gets angry over food,very particular abt it but wouldn’t mind drinking alcohol.People like similar type of music and movies.A girl who loves chick flicks ,wouldn’t usually wanna watch a science fiction. 

Architects are these days designing buildings and stations ,so that ppl can be as easily evacuated as possible ,based on computer data on  how and where ppl will run,on average  during an emergency. So are we more predictable than expected?U decide.

Why is it that most of us would want to put things off to tomorrow related to studies or work?But would reply to a sms instantly?or why would introverts happily turn the other way when running into an acquaintance or a nosy chacha ji or aunty ji in a wedding?

Have you ever wondered if thoughts follow a pattern.Lets call it ‘thouttern’(Don’t google the term,u would never find it :P).Psychologists believe that 98.7% of our daily thoughts are repeats in one form or the other.

So,if we do have a thouttern,then we should be thinking the same thoughts in similar situations and these thoughts get so repetitive that we hardly are conscious of them the next time we are in the same situation.

For instance,some of us would always be comfortable in any social situation.We speak as if we are on some guard or we are ought to say things in a certain way.And we fumble ,making a complete mess of ourselves.We eventually think we are dumbos,incompetent to even expresss simple things.But,in reality,our negative thoughts kick in during a social situation .Whatever we say is subconsciously centred on “to speak in a certain proper way “.Over time ,how we perceive a social situation becomes very different from others.So,in a way we really are dumbos to ignore what actually could be happening :P

So,would it be right to say that we fall into some sort of trap of thouttern happening at a subconscious level ,allowing us to see only our version of reality,preventing us from seeing other viewpoints and immense opportunites in life.In case you are wondering something is just  not going right  in yr life ,be it in relationships,finances,health,work….think abt this.

Here are common words and phrases.Lets see the other side detached from their stereotypical meanings.

• Painter or an applied pigment chemist?
• Life or a whim of several billion cells that happen to be ‘you’
• Do or die .Nah that’s old school …Do before Die.that’s better
• If you cant learn to do well ,practice it till it becomes perfect  or if you cant learn to do it well,enjoy doing it badly
• Never put off things till tomorrow what can be done today or Never do those things what can be avoided altogether:P
• Contemplating or intellectual masturbation?
• Don’t have any regrets and hard feelings or If you can’t get rid of the ‘skeletons’ in yr closet ,better teach them to dance:P
• Be kind and speak politely to elders or Speak to them in their ‘language’ so that more than their mind,their heart understands(can be used to one’s advantage:P)
• A life that just happened or 86,400 seconds gifted
• There are exceptions to every rule.or There are exceptions to every rule.Even this one:P
• Ppl say love is a feeling that comes from him or her and we feel loved or the feeling was always there ,only invoked by the other person?

So,would you ,the readers,like to continue the list?

u can always email me if u are not on Google +

nateshsbhdr3@gmail.com

:D

Genesis of religion

What's the thing with mythology?Whatever it is ,there seems to be a certain kind of fascination with it.Whether it is Sea churning (samudra mathan)by the Gods or luminously appearing in front of the 'sadhu' immersed in meditation and granting them boon;however unrealistic ,people just dont seem stop liking it.Incidentally,person who plays Lord Shiva in hit TV series Devo Ke Dev Mahadev,has won awards and has a nationwide(even age wide from 18-80 year old ladies :p)fan-following.
Out of many instances in that TV series(some funny),two such come to my mind now.First,when Lord Vishnu sleeps for one night with wife of tyrant Jalandhar to disempower him to wreak havoc in the heavens .Jalandhar has an armour that is made extremely powerful by his wife's fidelity to him (pati vrata) and so Vishnu makes the armour impotent as the wife is no longer 'faithful' to her husband,Jalandhar.
Or when Goddess Ganga becomes love-lorn when her love for Lord Shiva is unreciprocated.
Or Dont we know how notorious and greedy is Lord Indra(the Lord of heavens,ironically :p)

So,this brings me back.What's the thing with mythology?Why are Gods(even the Trilogy) depicted  so humanely at one hand and all-knowing and powerful ,on the other hand.One plausible explanation could come if we consider how old these myths are and the time and circumstances under which they were fabricated.Apart from entertainment,they also served a little more profound purpose,at least.And I won't be wrong if I'd say they some of them illustrate morals.I think our sages thought the best way to bring home the morals is by making everyday man connect to the stories(thus,human-like Gods) and by making them retain (thus, stories are about higher powers,so 'better be serious about them' :p) .And considering that mythology is inseparable from religion,the genesis of organised religion comes from morality.Indeed it is,as per evolutionary psychologists.

Even non-human primates seem to have a vague feeling about morals,although the evidence is non-conclusive.Homo neanderthalensis may have buried their dead.Moreover,dolphins and even whales are known to exhibit pre-moral traits.The genesis of morality comes from sociality 'living in a society' where one is expected to act in such-and-such way.Living in groups has been a survival tactic.The chances of finding food and defence from predators is more.A team working as a whole,each member doing their part and all proceeding to the same goal.Coming together makes a community evolved(a lot more to be written about this,though in another blogpost someday:)).In essence,what I am trying to say,better the social order,better the chances of survival.
and morality is the one that brings about social order,at least thought by the early man and thus civilizations developed.

In the human scenario,with high intelligence and tremendous capacity for symbolic communication,in order to maintain social order and thus morality, organised religion developed when people were coming together more and more ,forming larger communities and greater social control,conflict resolution and group solidarity was required.

However,full-fledged organised religion could only develop when supernatural powers(Gods) were created to scrunitize individuals ,powers that were omnipresent and will give boon or bane to those aligning with or against the moral code,says psychologist Matt J. Rosanno.Indeed,many scholars have suggested that religion is "genetically hardwired" into the human condition.
For more:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evolutionary_origin_of_religions

However,being religious(societal) is very different from being spiritual(individualistic).Any comments on that?Here,it is worth exploring your own definition of spirituality.
Do read the book review ,"CASE FOR GOD"http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2009/jul/04/case-for-god-karen-armstrong
"We come out of the art gallery or concert hall enriched and braced, elevated and tranquil, and may even fancy ourselves better people, though the change may or may not be noticed by those around us.

the folly lies in  intellectualising the religious practice.

The mystery at the heart of religious practice is ineffable, unapproachable by reason and by language. Silence is its truest expression. The right kind of silence

 in terms of awareness and truth.  an inner process stands in need of outward criteria. You can feel good without being good, and be good without stretching your understanding beyond words. Jabberwocky": "Somehow it seems to fill my head with ideas - only I don't exactly know what they are."

Watch the video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsxqT4OpHoU
"religion  was born to give a meaning to reality,Our five senses have limited reach and what if the creator instead of lying above us ,lies within us,What if humanity is god multiplying itself through particles of experience..What if God is experiencing the world thru us just like we experience the world thru our five senses."

Do give me your feedback on the book review and the video.


Coming to my friends Svake's,Geek Speak's comment that the intent of religion my be peace ,but the purpose has got diluted as it's passed down the ages,and how people choose elements of religion to believe and not believe.In Svake's ticket-counter analogy,where the first guy buys a  ticket ,makes loads of copies,adds his additions(as per his convenience and belief systems) and sells the copies to the next one in line and so on..As Kyro said it,"if today's laws are open to wide interpretations,I can only imagine how they interpret milennia-old texts." In essence,People believe what they want to believe,not what they need to.We can come up with ten reasons why Muslims are bad and they can come up with 10 others reasons why Hindus are bad.They are biased according to their personal experiences.
For more,visit

In the homosexuality context,people who are homophobic will try to suppress homosexuals,taking quotes from religious texts that homesexuality is immoral.Actually,they want to believe homesexuals are immorals,and that's why they conveniently choose to ignore the circumstances under which millenia-old religious quotes were written(when societies were developing).They have also chosen to ignore,in the same religious texts, that for a society to develop there should be mutual acceptance and respect for diversity.


In light of this,it is understandable why religion is used to discriminate(like being prejudiced about learning a Muslim language or having meal in a Muslim's house) to wreaking "misuse,havoc,slaughter and fear" in Forby's comment.

For more info on the type of bias(confirmation and hindsight),visit

http://allthingswildlyconsidered.blogspot.in/2010/04/people-believe-what-they-want-to.html